Fun New Ways To Injure Yourself
by Caleon
Summary: In which young Edmund Pevensie tests out his Christmas present, and wackiness ensues. Holiday oneshot.


~ Fun New Ways To Injure Yourself ~

_A/N: A little push from fellow Neffer (Narnia Fan Fiction Revolution) poster "Love and Rock Music" was all it took to get me writing this oneshot, in which young Edmund Pevensie tests out his Christmas present, and wackiness ensues. Enjoy!_

At thirteen years of age, Edmund really ought to have known better. Certainly as an elder brother who was supposed to be setting a good example for Lucy, he ought to have known better. And most definitely as a King of Narnia, he ought to have known better. But this was just begging to be done. _Oh,_ was it begging to be done. People just didn't build hallways like this, if they didn't want this sort of thing to be done.

He strapped the waxed, slightly curved boards to his feet, then stood up at the end of the carpeted main hall of Cair Paravel. With his tongue clamped between his teeth, he angled forward on the boards and prepared to let loose.

"Edmund. What _are_ you doing?"

Blast it. Lucy.

He straightened up and found his sister behind him with a stack of books in her arms. "Having a walk," he answered.

"Those aren't boots," Lucy said primly, pointing to his sock feet strapped into the board contraptions. "What. _Are_ they?"

"Carpet skates. The dwarves made them for me, for Christmas. They know I hate snow, so ..." He shrugged. Really, the use and genius of carpet skates ought to be obvious to anyone. Indoor skiing. No snow in your face. No ten layers of clothing. No frostbite. Think of the fun!

"Christmas was four weeks ago," Lucy said.

"And until this morning, Peter's been hanging around the castle and I haven't had the chance to try them out."

He watched Lucy's gaze go from his skate-bound feet, to the looo-o-o-o-ng carpeted hallway, to the suits of armor posted at the top of the grand staircase. She closed her eyes and gave a suffering groan that sounded an awful lot like Susan on one of her _don't-you-dare-Edmund-Pevensie_ rants. "Peter's going to kill you."

"Peter doesn't have to know. He's gone hunting deer with Oreius and a few of the Archenlander visitors. He might not be home for days, if they have to search the Western Wood." Cheerfully, Ed prepared again for a running start.

"Ed!"

"Lu! Don't spoil my fun. You want to see me enjoy my present, don't you?"

"I'd like to see you enjoy not breaking your head open, too."

It was unfair, really, how old she sounded when she said that. Edmund wondered if he could get a decree issued that she spend less time with Tumnus, and more time appreciating the finer points of Getting Away With Mischief While The High King Was Absent.

Fie on stuffiness! "Watch this," he said, and sprinted forward down the hall.

Midway, he skidded on the carpet. Wind whipped in his hair, and he burst into a huge grin while the spokes of the hallway banisters whooshed by on either side.

Awesome.

Then his skate's toe snagged on one of the loopy bits at the edge of the carpet, and wiped the grin off his face. With a howl of surprise, he flipped into the air. _Crash!_ Suits of armor cascaded around him, and Edmund went head over heels down the grand staircase.

_Slam. Boom. Thud. Bang._ Oh, his tailbone. For pity's sake, how many steps were there in this thing?

Lucy shrieked—somewhere way, way above him—and pieces of armor rained down on Edmund from all sides. _Blam._ Oh, heck, there went his nose. _Smack. Pow._ Stars burst before his eyes, and he landed hard on the floor at the foot of the staircase while what felt like the rest of Cair Paravel's armory smashed to the ground beside him.

_Thump-thump-thump-thump._ Lucy ran down the staircase toward him, her eyes round and her mouth open. "Edmund!"

With his head spinning, Ed struggled up to a seated position, and rubbed his smarting backside. He grinned, tasting the blood from his freely bleeding nose. Chuckling, he said, "Got your cordial on you, Lu? I can probably get a few more runs in before Peter gets home."

~ The End ~

Happy Holidays 2009

Love, Caleon


End file.
